we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
