Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
