I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I can text with my tongue
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
