Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
