There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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