margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
