i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
