she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
