dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
