I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
