I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
