If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
