Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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