He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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