Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
