Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
