so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
