he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
