you would pick up someone in the library
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
