My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
