At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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