She is in my trunk
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You may now shotgun with the bride
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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