Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
