Duck Duck Cougar?
We got so high we made milksteak
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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