what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
