i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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