She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
