I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
