Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
