if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
