Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
