I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
