Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
