Your tits are I can't wait for
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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