that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
