question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
