He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
