you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
