summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
