where am i from again
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
