Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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