I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
