I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You are the jesus of drinking
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
