so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
