I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
