ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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