You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
