# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
