glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
