what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
